After my husband injured himself, I ran him over to the doctor’s office. “Because your scalp looks red and irritated.”. One little girl answered, “Birthdays!”, If I ever voiced disapproval of a photo of myself, my mother always had a ready reply: “Want a better picture? Thank you for noticing,” said Denise, flattered. And to what school would you have been going?”The other bloke answers,“Well now, I went to St. Mary’s, of course.”The first one gets really excited and says,“And so did I. After a while, I asked, “Why are you crying so much?”Arching his back, he shouted, “I wanted to flush!”, I was on a business call when I realized I was late for a class at the gym. “What do you do?” he asked. I was in a pet store picking up some pet food for my dog when I overheard the following conversation. “Daddy” didn’t have anything to worry about! I scanned the ID, but it came back expired. “No,” said the teen. That’s when my youngest son pointed out that the “11” I was seeing on the screen was actually the game’s pause button. I pooped on the floor too! The IT guy managed to fix the issue in a few minutes and was on his way. The woman quickly learned... We Uber drivers never know whom we’re going to end up with as a passenger. After some loud moans,... My job as a facilities maintenance engineer required a wide range of skills. The man smiled, took out a pen, “it stands for this: I-D -1-0-T”. “I know what you mean,” she said. “I never know at which cornfield to turn when we come to visit you.”. I explained to him that it's called riding bareback. My daughter was anxious to do some landscaping at her new home, but then she called up sounding discouraged. “Two-day shipping will cost $12.95 to get it there by Friday,” my coworker Billy told her. According to Forbes, the average reading speed for an American adult is 300 words per minute. He watched and fed it faithfully, morning and night. One day I might have to fix the furnace, while the next day could see me painting the CEO’s office. You have to love brothers. “It’s just something coaches do,” I said. We crafted, painted, and colored. “Yesterday was my 18th birthday!” a customer said after walking into our convenience store. I pooped in the toilet! I told him it wasn't his job to protect us, and he said, "But I'm almost 10." I wore it confidently to an evening... A customer walked into my clothing shop and asked to see the pants that were advertised in the paper that day. His friend takes a sip from his beer, sets it down on the bar, turns to his friend, and slurs, “That’s a mirror.”. I was on a business call when I realized I was late for a class at the gym. I asked why. “We had a singing group the other day that performed without instruments,” he said. “Sir! I’m talking about funny short stories. My name is Mike, I work for the county engineer’s office, and I’m the genius who designed this!” Surprisingly, he still gave me a tip. “I barely got the words out of my mouth when Bob looked up with an annoyed expression, “DON’T BOTHER ME NOW CHRIS. After a full examination, the doctor cocked his head... A few of us were discussing the perils of drinking and driving when my five-year-old granddaughter threw in her two cents. Finally, I got on the intercom and said softly but firmly, “All right, Johnny, it’s time to go to sleep now.” There was quiet in the room, and then he said, “OK, God, I will.” I didn’t hear a peep from him until morning.
As the customs agent handed my passport back to me, she cheerily welcomed me home by declaring, “Back to reality for you!”. I never had kids.”. After her son spent over 2 hours teaching her how to use it, she was sure she knew everything there was to know about computers. He then asked for some e-cigarette products and handed me his ID to prove he was indeed of age. When we were kids, we would race each other down the stairs every morning to sweep up the bar and find the change customers had dropped during the night.
“But I think it began with an s.” “Was it Caesar’s?”. “Oh!” I shouted. “I have trouble figuring out when to turn and what lane to be in,” I complained to my grandson.
He replied, “Yes, I talked with the horse, and he didn’t have any suggestions or answers for the project.”. A few of us were discussing the perils of drinking and driving when my five-year-old granddaughter threw in her two cents. I found him sleeping on the sofa. —Thomas Ngo, When the box with my Halloween costume arrived, it was empty. Mom admitted she didn’t have anything particular in mind, and the pair started chatting. “Now I just wish you could.” —Megs Brunner. The 10 Best Inspirational Short Stories. One question required him to write a sentence using the word version. Teaching is not for sensitive souls. Instead of asking “What is it?” as I had intended, I’d asked “Who is it?”. “What do I know? Wanting to find out when it opened the next morning, I stopped a teenage staffer on her way... I’m a nurse in a hospital’s children’s ward. “No,” said the teen. My husband and I spent a rare day with our youngest grandson Malakai, as they live 350 miles away. As I headed out the door, I told the waitress what had happened. We headed to the small hick town that he was from in Pennsylvania, and had a grand ol’ time with his folks. Blog Archives Enjoy our collection of funny stories, after all that’s what they are here for!
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